Roger L'Estrange (42)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Lapwing Preferr'd.

Upon a General Invitation to the Eagle's Wedding, there were several Birds of Quality among the Rest, that took it in Heavy Dudgeon to see a Lapwing Plac'd at the Upper End of the Table. 'Tis true, they cry'd, he has a kind of a Coxcomb upon the Crown of him, and a Few Tawdry Feathers; but Alas, he never Eat a Good Meals Meat in his Life, till he came to This Preferment.

'Tis a Scandal to a Government, and there goes Envy along with it, where Honours are Conferr'd upon Men for Address, Beauty, and External Advantages, rather then for their Good Qualities and Virtues.

A Hunts-man and a Currier.

A Currier bought a Bear-Skin of a Hunts-man, and laid him down ready Money for't. The Hunts-man told him that he would kill a Bear next day and he should have the Skin. The Currier, for his Curiosity, went out with the Hunts-man to the Chace; and mounted a tree, where he might see the Sport. The Hunts-man advanc'd very bravely up to the Den where the Bear lay, and threw in his Dogs upon him. He Rustled out immediately, and the Man missing his Aim, the Bear overturn'd him. So the Fellow held his Breath, and lay Stone still, as if he were dead. The Bear snuffled, and smelt to him; and took him for a Carcass, and so left him. When the Bear was gone, and the Danger over, down comes the Currier from the Tree, and bad the Hunts-Man Rise. Heark ye, my Friend, says the Currier, the Bear whisper'd somewhat in your Ear. What was it, I prithee? Oh (says the Hunts-Man) he bad me have a care for the future, so make sure of the Bear, before I sell his Skin.

Let no Man undertake for more than he is able to make good.

An Oxe and a Heifer.

A Wanton Heifer that had little else to do than to frisk up and down in a Meadow, at Ease and Pleasure, came up to a working Oxe with a Thousand Reproaches in her Mouth; bless me, says the Heifer, what a Difference there is betwixt your Coat and Condition, and mine! Why, what a gall'd nasty Neck have we here! Look ye, mine's as clean as a Penny, and smooth as Silk I warrant ye. 'Tis a lavish Life to be yoak'd thus,and in perpetual Labour. What would you give to be as free and easy now as I am? The Oxe kept these Things in his Thoughts, without one Word in Answer at present; but seeing the Heifer taken up a while after for a Sacrifice: Well Sister, sayshe, and have you not frisked fair now, when the Ease and Liberty you valu'd your self upon, has brought you to this End?

'Tis no new Thing for Men of Liberty and Pleasure, to make sport with the Plain, Honest Servants of their Prince and Country. But mark the End on't, and while the one labours in his Duty with a good Conscience, the other, like a Beast, but Fatting up for the Shambles.

illustration by Tenniel

A Hermit and a Soldier.

There was a Holy Man, that took a Soldier to task, upon the Subject of his Profession, and laid before him the Hazard, the Sins, and the Troubles that attend People of that Trade: Wherefore, says he, for your Soul's Sake, Sir, pray give it over. Well! Father, says the Soldier, I'll do as you bid me; for really we are so ill paid, and there's so little to be gotten by Pillage, that I fancy I had e'en as good betake myself to a godly Life.

When People can live no longer by their Sins, 'tis high time for them to mend their Manners.

A River and a Fountain.

There happen'd a Dispute betwixt a River and a Fountain, which of the Two should have the Preference. The River valu'd it self upon the Plenty and Variety of Fish that it produc'd; the Advantages of Navigation; the many Brave Towns and Palaces that were built upon the Banks of it, purely for the Pleasure of the Situation. And then for the General Satisfaction, in fine, that it yielded to Mankind, in the Matter both of Convenience and Delight: Whereas (says the River) the Fountain passes obscurely through the Caverns of the Earth; lies bury'd up in Moss, and comes creeping into the World, as if it were asham'd to shew the Head. The Fountain took the Insolence and the Vanity of This Reproche so Heinously, that it presently Choak'd up the Spring, and Stopt the Course of its Waters: Insomuch that the Channel was immediately dry'd up, and the Fish left Dead and Stinking in the Mud; as a Just Judgment upon the Stream for Derogating from the Original and Author of All the Blessings it Enjoy'd.

He that Arrogates any Good to Himself, detracts from the Author of all the Good he Enjoys.

Roger L'Estrange (41)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

The Mice and the Oak.

The Mice found it so troublesom to be still climbing the Oak for every Bit they put in their Bellies, that they were once to set their Teeth to't, and bring the Acorns down to them; but some wiser than some, and a Grave Experienc'd Mouse, bad them have a care what they did; for it we destroy our Nurse at present, who shall feed us hereafter?

Resolution without Foresight is but a Temerarious Folly: And the Consequences of Things are the first Point to be taken into Consideration.

A Fox and a Worm.

A Worm put forth his Head out of a Dunghill, and made Proclamation of his Skill in Physick. Pray, says the Fox, Begin with your own infirmities before you Meddle with other Peoples.

Physician Cure thy self.

Reflection. Saying and Doing are Two Things. Physician Cure thy Self, Preaches to us upon this Fable. Every Man does best in his own Trade, and the Cobbler is not to go beyond his Last. We have of these Dunghill-Pretenders in all Professions, and but too many of them that Thrive upon their Arrogance. If this Worm had met with an Ass to Encourage his Vanity, instead of a Fox to Correct it, he might have been Advanc'd to a Doctor of the College perhaps; or to some more Considerable Post of Honour, either in Church or State.

illustration from the Medici Aesop

A Run-away Dog and his Master.

There was a Bob-tail'd Cur, cry'd in a Gazette, and one that found him out by his Marks, brought him home to his Master; who fell presently to reasoning the matter with him, how insensible and thankless a Wretch he was, to run away from one that was so extream kind to him. Did I ever give you a Blow in my Life, says he, or so much as one Angry Word, in all the time that ever you serv'd me? No, says the Dog, not with your own Hands, nor with your own Lips; but you have given me a Thousand and a Thousand by your Deputy; and when I am beaten by my Master's Order, 'tis my Master himself I reckon, that Beats me.

In Benefits as well as Injuries, 'tis the Principal that we are to consider, not the Instrument. That which a man does by Another, is in Truth and Equity by his own Act.

A Peacock and a Crane.

As a Peacock and a Crane were in Company together, the Peacock spread his tail, and challenges the other, to shew him such a Fan of Feathers. The Crane upon this, springs up into the Air, and calls to the Peacock to follow him if he could. You brag of your Plumes, says he, that are fair indeed to the Eye, but no way useful or fit for any manner of Service.

Heaven has provided not only for our Necessities, but for our Delights and Pleasures too; but still the Blessings that are most useful to us, must be preferr'd before the Ornaments of Beauty.

illustration by Barlow

The Birds and Beetles.

The Birds were in a terrible Fright once, for fear of Gun-shot from the Beetles. And what was the Bus'ness, but the little Balls of Ordure, that the Beetles had rak'd together, the Birds took for Bullets: But a Sparrow in the Company, that had more Wit than his Fellows, bad them have a good Heart yet, for how shall they reach us in the Air, says he, with those Pellets that they can hardly roll upon the Ground?

Many People apprehend Danger where there's None, and reckon themselves sure where there is, for want of taking the true Measure of Things, and laying Matters rightly together.

Roger L'Estrange (40)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Son Singing at his Mother's Funeral.

There was a good Man that follow'd his Wife's Body to the Grave, weeping, and wailing all the Way he went, while his Son follow'd the Corps singing. Why Sirrah, says the Father, You should howl, and wring your Hands, and do as I do, ye Rogue you; and not go Sol-Fa-ing it about like a Mad-man. Why Father, says he, You give the Priests Money to sing, and will you be angry with me for giving ye a Song Gratis? Well, says the Father, but that which may become the Priests, will not always become you. 'Tis their Office to sing, but it is your Part to cry.

Funeral Tears are as arrantly hir'd out as Mourning Cloaks: and so are the very Offices: And whether we go to our Graves snivelling or singing, 'tis all but according to the Fashion of the Country, and meer Form.

An Ass puts in for an Office.

There was a bantering Droll got himself into a very good Equipage and Employment, by an admirable Faculty he had in Farting. The Success of this Buffoon encourag'd an Ass to put in for a Place too; for, says he, I'll fart with that Puppy for his Commission, and leave it to the Judgment of those that preferr'd him, which has the Clearer, and better scented Pipe of the Two.

Where Publick Ministers encourage Buffoonery, 'tis no wonder if Buffoons set up for Publick Ministers.

A River-Fish and a Sea-Fish.

There was a large over-grown Pike that had the Fortune to be carry'd out to Sea by a strong Curent, and had there the Vanity to value himself above all the Fish in the Ocean. We'll refer that (says a Sturgeon) to the Judgment of the Market, and see which of the Two yields the better Price.

Every Man has his Province assign'd him, and none but a Mad-Man will pretend to impose; and to give Laws where he has nothing to do.

illustration from Croxall's Aesop

A Man that would not take a Clyster.

When the Patient is Rich, there's no Fear of Physicians about him, as thick as Wasps to a Honey-Pot; and there was a whole College of them call'd to a Consultation upon a Purse-Proud Dutch Man, that was troubled with a Megrim. The Doctors prescrib'd him a Clyster; the Patient fell into a Rage upon't. Why, Certainly these People are all mad, says he, to talk of Curing a Man's Head at his Tail.

He that consults his Physician, and will not follow his Advice, must be his own Doctor: But let him take the old Adage along with him; He that teaches himself, has a Fool for his Master.

A Husband and Wife Twice Married.

There happen'd a Match betwixt a Widower and a Widow. The Woman would be perpetually twitting of her second Husband what a Man her First was, and her Husband did not forget the ringing of it in her Ears as often, what an admirable Woman he had to his First Wife. As the Woman was one Day upon the peevish Pin, a poor Body comes to the Door, while the froward Fit was upon her, to beg a Charity. Come in, poor Man (says the Woman) here's e'en the Leg of a Capon for thee, to pray for the Soul of my First Husband. Nay, Faith, says the Husband, and when they hand is in, e'ev take the Body and the rest on't, to pray for the Soul of my First Wife. This was their way of Teizing one another, and of Starving the Living to Honour the Dead: For they had but that One Capon betwixt them to Supper.

Sauce for a Goose is Sauce for a Gander. There's no contending with the Laws of God and Man, especially against those that have Power and Right on their Side.

Roger L'Estrange (39)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Country-man and a River.

A Country-man that was to pass a River, founded it up and down to try where it was most fordable: and upon Trial he made this Observation on't: Where the Water ran Smooth, he found it Deepest; and on the contrary, Shallowest where it made most Noise.

There's More Danger in a Reserv'd and Silent, than in a Noisy, Babbling Enemy.

A Fir and a Bramble.

There goes a Story of a Fir-Tree, that in a vain spiteful Humour, was mightily upon the Pin of commending itself, and despising the Bramble. My Head (says the Fir) is advanc'd among the Stars. I furnish Beams for Palaces, Masts for Shipping: The very Sweat of my Body is a Sovereign Remedy for the Sick and Wounded. Whereas the Rascally Bramble runs creeping in the Dirt, and serves for nothing in the World but Mischief. Well, says the Bramble, (that over-heard all this) you might have said somewhat of your own Misfortune, and to my Advantage too, if your Pride and Envy would have suffer'd you to do it. But pray will you tell me however, when the Carpenter comes next with the Axe into the Wood, to fell Timber, whether you had not rather be a Bramble than a Fir-Tree.

Poverty secures a Man from Thieves, great and small: Whereas the Rich and the Mighty, are the Mark of Malice, and Cross Fortune; and still the Higher they are, the Nearer the Thunder.

illustration by Rackham

A Pigeon and a Pye.

A Pye was Wond'ring once to a Pigeon, why she would Breed still in the same Hole, when her Young Ones were constantly taken away from her before they were able to fly. Why That's my Simplicity, says the Pigeon. I mean no Harm, and I suspect none.

Do as you would be done by, it is a Better Rule in the Doctrine than in the Practice: For Trust as you would be Trusted, will not hold betwixt a Knave and an Honest Man. There's no Dealing with a Sharper but at his Own Play.

Oxen and a Piece of Timber.

The Timber was complaining of the Ingratitude of the Oxen. How often, says the Timber, have I fed ye with my Leaves, and reliev'd ye under my Shadow? and for you to drag me now at this Rate, over Dirt and Stones! Alas! cry'd the Oxen: Do not you see how we pant and groan, and how we are goaded on, to do what we do? The Timber consider'd how unwillingly they did it, and so forgave them.

What we are forc'd to do by an Over-ruling Power and Necessity is not properly our own Act.

illustration by Detmold

Capons Fat and Lean.

There were a great many Cramm'd Capons together in a Coop, some of 'em very Fair and Fat, and Others again did not thrive upon Feeding. The Fat Ones would be ever and anon making sport with the Lean, and calling them Starvelings; 'till in the End, the Cook was order'd to dress so many Capons for Supper, and to be sure to take the best in the Pen: When it came to that once, they that had most Flesh upon their Backs, wish'd they had had less, and 'twould have been better for 'em.

Prosperity makes People Proud, Fat, and Wanton; but when a Day of Reckoning comes, They are the First still that go to Pot.

Roger L'Estrange (38)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Creaking Wheel.

A Waggoner took notice upon the Creaking of a Wheel, that it was the worst Wheel of the Four that made most Noise, and was wondring at the Reason of it. Oh, says the Waggon, they that are Sickly are ever the most Piping and Troublesome.

'Tis with Creaking Wheels as 'tis with Courtiers, Physicians, Lawyers, (and with whom not?), They want Greazing.

Wolfe in a Sheeps-Skin.

There goes a Story of a Wolfe, that Wrapt himself up in a Sheeps-skin, and Worry'd Lambs for a Good while under That Disguise; but the Shepherd Met with him at last, and Truss'd him up, Sheeps-skin and all, upon an Eminent Gibbet, for a Spectacle, and an Example. The Neighbours made a Wonderment at it, and Ask'd him what he meant to Hang up his Sheep? Oh, says he, That's only the Skin of a Sheep, that was made use of to Cover the Heart, Malice, and Body of a Wolfe that Shrouded himself under it.

Hypocrisie is only the Devil's Stalking Horse, under an Affectation of Simplicity and Religion. People are not to be Judg'd by their Looks, Habits, and Appearances; but by the Character of their Lives and Conversations, and by their Works.

A Country-man and an Oxe.

A Countryman had got a stubborn Oxe, that would still be Pushing and Flinging, whenever they went to Yoak, or to Tye him up. The Man cuts off his Horns, and puts him to the Plough, and by that means secures himself, both against his Head and his Heels, and in the mean time, he himself Guides the Plough: But though the Oxe, when he was thus Shackled and Disarmed, could not either Strike or Gore him, he made a shift yet to throw Dust enough into his Eyes, and his Mouth, almost to Blind, and to Choak him.

A Malicious Man may be bound Hand and Foot, and put out of Condition of doing Mischief, but a Malicious Will is never to be master'd.

illustration from Steinhowel's Aesop

An Incorrigible Son.

It was the Hard Lot of a very Good Man to have a Vicious Young Fellow to his Son; and he did what he could to Reclaim him: But Sir (says he) for Brevity's sake, 'tis only so much Time and Councel thrown away; for all the Parsons about the Town have been Baiting me I know not how long now, upon the same Subject, and I'm not One Jot the Better for't.

Some Men Live as if they had made a Covenant with hell; Let Divines, Fathers, Friends say what they will, they Stop their Ears against them: And Good Councel is wholly Cast away upon them.

An Old Man resolv'd to give over Whoring.

There was an Old Tost, that in the very State of Impotence, had still a Whore in the Head of him. His Ghostly Father took Notice of it, and Ply'd him Hard with Wholesome Advice, upon the Subject of the Lusts of the Flesh. This Reverend Fornicator thank'd him most Heartily for his Kind and Christian Councel, and the Grace of Heaven, says he, I'll Follow it; For to tell ye the Plain Truth on't, I am told that 'tis Naught for me; and really, my Body is quite out of Tune for Those Gambols.

When Things are at the Worst they'd Mend.

Roger L'Estrange (37)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Man Had a Mind to Try his Friends.

There was a generous Rich Man, that kept a Splendid and an Open Table, and consequently never wanted Guests. This Person found all People came to him promiscuously, and a Curiosity took him in the Head to try which of them were Friends, and which only Trencher-Flies and Spungers. So he took an occasion one Day, at a Full Table, to tell them of a Quarrel he had, and that he was just then going to demand Satisfaction. There must be so many to so many, and he made no doubt, but they'd stand by him with their Swords in their Hands. they all excus'd themselves save only Two; which Two he reckon'd upon as his Friends, and all the rest no better than Hangers-on.

We may talk of many Friends; but not One Man of a Thousand will stand the Test.

An Eagle and a Pye.

There was a pert-dapper Spark of a Mag-Pye, that fancy'd the Birds would never be well govern'd till he himself should come to sit at the Helm. In this Freak he petition'd the Eagle to take him into his Cabinet; for, says he, I have no ill turn of a Body for't. I have my Tongue and my Heels at command; and can make as much Noise and Bussle, to as little Purpose, as any He perhaps that flies between a Pair of Wings. He was going on in the History of his Qualifications, when the Eagle graciously told him, how sensible he was of the Volubility both of his Tongue, and of his Manners, and so of his Faculties and good Breeding; but, says he, you are so confoundedly given to Squirting up and down, and Chattering, that the World would be apt to say, I had chosen a Jack Pudding for a Prime Minister.

Great Babblers, or Talkers are a sort of People not fit either for Trust, Business or Conversation.

illustration by Grandville

A Weak Young Man and a Wolfe.

A Creeping Young Fellow that had Committed Matrimony with a Brisk Gamesome Lass, was so Alter'd upon't in a Few Days, that he was liker a Sceleton than a Living Man. He was Basking himself one time in the Gleam of the Sun, and some Huntsmen pass'd by him upon the Chase of a Wolfe that led 'em That Way. Why how comes it (says he) that you don't Catch That Wolfe? They told him that he was too Nimble for 'em. Well (says he) If my Wife had the Ordering of him, she'd Spoil his Footmanships.

Marriage they say breeds Cares and Cuckolds.

A Cockle and Jupiter.

In old time, when Jupiter was in the Humour of granting Petitions, a Cockle made it his Request, that his House and his Body might be all of a piece. Jupiter made him Answer, that it would be a Burden to him instead of a Favour. Yes, says the Cockle, but it will be such a Burden as I had rather bear, than life expos'd to ill Neighbours.

Impertinent Visits are the Plague of a Sober Man's Life, and therefore 'tis a happy thing when a Body may be at Home, or not at Home, as he pleases.

illustration from a 1590 Aesop

A Corrupt Officer.

A Certain Governour of a Province that had a long Time Pill'd, and Oppress'd the People under his Charge, was call'd to Account in the Conclusion for Receiving of Bribes; and sentenc'd to Refund what he had wrongfully Taken. He came as unwillingly to the Point, as a Bear to the Stake, which gave Occasion to some Body's saying, that it was with this Man and his Money, as it is with Women and their Children; He was well enough pleased in the Getting of it; but it went to the very Heart of him when he Parted with it.

Great Officers are but like Sponges; they suck 'till they are full, and when they come once to be squeez'd, the very Heart's Blood of them come away with their Money.

Roger L'Estrange (36)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Miser and his Bags.

A Covetous Rich Churl finding himself at the Point of Death, caus'd his Coffers to be brought up, and his Bags laid before him. You and I, says he, must part, and I would willingly bequeath ye to Those that will take most Delight in ye. Why then, say the Bags, you must divide us betwixt your Heirs, and the Devils. Your Heirs will have Drink and Whores for your Money, and the Devils will be as well pleas'd on the other hand, that they are to have your Soul for't.

The Money of a Miser is the last Friend he takes his Leave of in this World.

A Woman that brought a Fire into the House.

The Question was put to an honest Man newly marry'd, What might be the Meaning of his New Bride's bringing a Torch out of her Father's House into her Husband's? Why this, says he; I have eas'd my Father-in-law of a Fire-brand, to set my own House in a Flame.

A Contentious Woman puts all into a Flame, wherever she comes.

Oxen and a Piece of Timber.

The Timber was complaining of the Ingratitude of the Oxen. How often, says the Timber, have I fed ye with my Leaves, and reliev'd ye under my Shadow? and for you to drag me now at this Rate, over Dirt and Stones! Alas! cry'd the Oxen: Do not you see how we pant and groan, and how we are goaded on, to do what we do? The Timber consider'd how unwillingly they did it, and so forgave them.

What we are forc'd to do by an Over-ruling Power and Necessity is not properly our own Act.

illustration by Detmold

A Lion and a Hog.

A Lion that found it extreme irksome to live Alone, gave the Beasts of the Forest to understand, that he was resolv'd to make choice of some or other of his Subjects for a Friend and Companion. There was a mightfy Bustle, who should be the Favourite, and the Wonder of all the rest: The Lion pitch'd upon a Hog: For, says the Lion, he is True and Faithful to his Friend, and will stand by him in all Times and Hazards.

A True Friend can ne'er fail of being a Loyal Subject: And That's the Man that a Brave Prince will make choice of for a Particular Favourite.

A Lad Robbing an Orchard.

An Old Fellow took a Boy Robbing his Orchard, Sirrah (says he) come down the Tree, and don't steal my Apples. The Lad never minded him, but went on with his Work. Well (says the Master of the Ground) they say there are Charms in Herbs as well as in Words, and so he threw a Handful of Grass at him; which was so ridiculous, that the Young Thief took the Old Man to be Mop'd. But in Conclusion, if neither Words, nor Herbs will do, says he, I'll try what may be done with Stones; for they say there's Vertue in Them too; and that Way he did his Work.

Those that will not be reclaimd's by Instruction, must be brought to a Sense of their Duty by Feeling.

Roger L'Estrange (35)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Fox and a Cat.

There was a Question started betwixt a Fox and a Cat; which of the Two could make the best Shift in the World if they were put to a Pinch. For my own Part (says Reynard) when the worst comes to the worst, I have a whole Budget of Tricks to come off with at last. At that very Instant, up comes a Pack of Dogs full cry towards them. The Cat presently takes a Tree, and sees the poor Fox torn to Pieces upon the very Spot. Well, says Puss to her self, One sure Trick, I find, is better than a Hundred slippery ones.

Nature has provided better for us, than we could have done for our selves.

illustration from Steinhowel's Aesop

Hercules and Pluto

When Hercules was taken up to Heaven for his Glorious Actions, he made his Reverence in Course to all the Gods, 'till he came to Pluto, upon whom he turn'd his Back with Indignation and Contempt. Jupiter ask'd him what he meant by that Dis-respect? Why, says Hercules, that Son of Fortune Corrupts the whole World with Mony, Encourages all manner of Wickedness, and is a common Enemy to all Good Men.

This is only to shew the Opposition betwixt a Narrow, Sordid, Avaritious Humour, and the Publick Spirited Generosity of a Man of Honour, Industry and Virtue.

illustration by 1701 Phaedrus

A Cock and a Fox.

A Fox spy'd a Cock at Roost with his Hens about him. Why how, my Friend, says Reynard, What makes you upon a Tree there? Your Bus'ness lies upon the Terra Firma, and a Cock in the Air is out of his Element, methinks. But you don't hear the News perhaps, and it is certainly true: There's a General Peace concluded among all Living Creatures, and not one of them to presume, upon Pain of Life and Limb, directly or indirectly, to hurt another. The Blessedest Tidings in the World, says the Cock; and at the same time he stretches out his Neck, as if he were a looking at somewhat a great way off. What are you Peering at? says the Fox. Nothing, says t'other, but a Couple of Great Dogs younder, that are coming this Way, Open-Mouth, as hard as they can drive. Why then, says Reynard, I fancy I'd e'ev best be Jogging. No, no, says the Cock, the General Peace will secure you: Ay, quoth the Fox, so it will; but if these Roguy Curs should not have heard of the Proclamation, my Coat may come to be Pink'd yet for all that. And so away he scamper'd.

In all the Liberties of Sharping and Tricking one upon another, there must still a Regard be had to the Punctilio's of Honour and Justice.

Mice, Cat and a Bell.

There was a Devillish Sly Cat it seems, in a certain House, and the Mice were so Plagu'd with her at every turn, that they call'd a Court to Advise upon some way to prevent being surpriz'd. If you'll be Rul'd by me, (says a Member of the Board) there's nothing like Hanging a Bell about the Cats Neck, to give Warning before-hand, when Puss is a coming. They all lookt upon't as the best Contrivance that the Case would bear. Well (says another) and now we are agreed upon the Bell, say who shall put it about the Cats Neck. There was no body in fine that would Undertake it, and so the Expedient fell to the Ground.

The Boldest Talkers are not always the Greatest Doers.

illustration by Grandville

A Lion and a Man.

Among other good Counsels that an Old Experienced Lion gave to his Whelp, this was One; That he should never Contend with a Man; for says he, if ever you do, you'll be Worsted. The Little Lion gave his Father the Hearing, and kept the Advice in his Thought, but it never went near his Heart. When he came to be grown up afterward, and in the Flower of his Strength and Vigour, About and About he Ranges to look for a Man to Grapple with: In his Ramble he changes to Spy a Yoak of Oxen; so up to 'em he goes presently; Heark ye Friends, says he, are you MEN? They told him No; but their Master was a Man. Upon leaving the Oxen, he went to a Horse, that he saw Bridled, and Ty'd to a Tree, and ask'd him the same Question; No, says the Horse, I am no Man my Self, but he that Bridled and Saddled me, and ty'd me up here, he's a Man. He goes after this, to one that was Cleaving of Blocks. D'ye hear, says the Lion, You seem to be a Man. And a Man I am, says the Fellow. That's well, quoth the Lion, and dare you Fight with Me? Yes, says the Man, I dare Fight with ye: Why I can Tear all these Blocks to Pieces ye see. Put your Feet now into this Gap, where you see an Iron Thing there, and try what you can do. The Lion presently put his Claws into the Gaping of the Wood, and with one Lusty Pluck, made it give way, and out drops the Wedge, the Wood immediately Closing upon't; and there was the Lion caught by the Toes. The Woodman presently upon this, Raises the Country; and the Lion finding what a Streight he was in, gave one Hearty Twitch, and got his Feet out of the Trap, but left his Claws Behind him. So away he goes back to his Father, all Lame and Bloody, with this Confession in his Mouth; Alas, my Dear Father, says he, This had never been, if I had follow'd your Advice.

Disobedience to Parents is against the Laws of Nature and of Nations, Common Justice, Prudence and Good Manners; and the Vengeance of Heaven, Sooner or Later, Treads upon the Heels on't.

illustration by Bewick

Roger L'Estrange (34)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Council of Beasts

The Beasts (a great while ago) were so harass'd out with Perpetual feuds and Factions, that they call'd a General Council, in the nature of a Committee of Grievances, to Advise upon some way for the Adjusting of Differences, in order to a Publick Peace. After a great many Notable Things said upon the Debate, Pro and Con, the Hares at last (according to the Printed Votes of those Days) deliver'd their Sense to this Effect: There can never be any Quiet in this World, so long as one Beast shall be Allow'd Nails, Teeth, or Horns, more then Another; but the Weaker will still be a Prey to the Stronger: Wherefore we humbly propose an Universal Parity, and that we may be all upon the same Level, both for Dignity and Power; for we may then, and not till then, promise our selves a Blessed State of Agreement, when no one Creature shall be able to Hurt another.

The Mobile are still for Levelling; that is to say, for Advancing themselves, For 'tis as Broad as'tis long, whether they Rise to others, or bring others down to them. Beside, that the Doctrine of Levelling strikes at the very Order of Providence.

A Wolf and a Fox

A Wolf that had a mind to take his ease, stor’d himself privately with Provisions, and so kept close a-while. Why, how now Friend, says a Fox to him, we han’t seen you abroad at the Chase this many a Day! Why truly, says the Wolf, I have gotten an Indisposition that keeps me much at home, and I hope I shall have your Prayers for my Recovery. The Fox had a fetch in’t, and when he saw it would not fadge; away goes he presently to a Shepherd, and tells him where he might surprize a Wolf, if he had a mind to’t. The Shepherd follow’d his Directions, and destroy’d him. The Fox immediately, as his next Heir, repairs to his Cell, and takes Possession of his Stores; but he had little Joy of the Purchase, for in a very short time, the same Shepherd did as much for the Fox, as he had done before for the Wolf.

‘Tis with Sharpers as ‘tis with Pikes, they prey upon their own kind; and ‘tis a pleasant Scene enough, when Thieves fall out among themselves, to see the cutting of one Diamond with another.

illustration by Barlow

The Crows and Pigeons

There happen'd a Suit in Law betwixt the two Families of the Crows and the Pigeons; but for Quietness sake, they agreed upon an Order of Reference, and the Kite was to be Arbitrator. The Cause was Heard, and Judgment given for the Crows.

Ask my Brother if I'm a Thief. One Criminal upon the Bench, will be sure to bring off another at the Barr.

An Agreement between the Wolves and the Dogs

The Wolves found themselves in a great Straight once how to deal with the Dogs, they could do well enough with 'em one by one they saw, but were still worsted and over-born by Numbers. they took the Matter into Debate, and came at last to this conclusion, That unless they could make a Party among them, and by a Parcel of Fair Words and Pretences, engage them in a Confederacy against their Masters and Themselves, there was no good to be done in the matter. Upon this, they sent out their Spies among the Dogs, with Instructions to go to those among them that were nearest their own Make, Size and Colour, and to reason the matter with them, after this or the like manner. Why should not we that are all of a Colour, and in a manner all of a Kind, be all of a Party too, and all of an Interest? You'll say perhaps, that your Masters, and your Fellows may take it Ill, and pick a Quarrel with ye. Well, and what will they be able to maek on't then, against You and us together? If it comes to that once, 'twill be but One Push for all, and the Work is done. This Discourse wrought as well as Heart could wish; for a great many of the Wolf-Colour'd-Dogs cry'd out, Well mov'd upon't, and so went over to the other side: And what came on't at last, but that after the Dogs had Deserted, the Wolves Worry'd one Part of their Enemies by the help of the Curs that went over to them; and they were then strong enough to destroy the Revolters themselves.

A House divided against it self, cannot stand.

A Taylor and his Wife

There happen'd a Grievous Quarrel once betwixt a Taylor and his Wife. The Woman in contempt of his Trade, call'd her Husband Pricklouse; he gave her a Box o'th' Ear for't, which serv'd only to make her more outragious. When this would do no good, he set her up to the Chin in a Horse-Pond; but so long as her Tongue was at liberty, there was not a Word to be got from her, but the same Nick-Name in Derision over and over again. Well (says he to himself) there's no way, I perceive, to quiet this Woman, but by stopping of her Mouth; and so he had Duck's next bout over Head and Ears. When she was under Water, and could call him Pricklouse no longer with her Lips, she held up her Hands over her Head, and did it with her Thumbs by the Knicking of her Nails; and when he saw that once, he was e'ev glad to give her over.

The last Two Things that die in an Impetuous Woman, are her Tongue and her Stomach, when she cannot have her Will.

Roger L'Estrange (33)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

 A Wolf and a Hog

A Wolf that had liv'd many Years upon the Spoil, came at last to be Troubled in Conscience for the Spilling of so much Innocent Blood, and so took up a christian Resolution to keep a long Lent for't; and not to Eat One Bit of Flesh for a whole Twelve-Month: But Fasting it seems did not agree with his Constitution, for upon the sight of a Hog Wallowing in a Muddy Puddle, he ran presently to him, and ask'd him what he was? Why, says the Hog, I belong to a Neighbour here in the Village, and the Ancient Romans call me Porcus. In Good Time, says the Wolf; for I have read in Littleton's Dictionary, that Porcius is a Fish, that being Taken, Grunteth like a Hog; and so he made a Supper of the Hog, without breaking his Fast, and without any Offence to his Vow of Mortification.

In a long Practice of Wickedness, now and then a Faint Vow or Promise of Amendment, goes for Nothing: And if a Body should have a Mind to break a Commandment under such an Obligation, it will be hard if he cannot bring himself off at last with some Salvo or Distinction, and be his own Confessor.

A Man that Would Never Hear Ill News

One came to a Country Grazier, and ask'd him if he should tell him a piece of News. Is't Good or Bad? (says he.) Nay, says t'other, 'tis not very Good. Pray, says the Grazier, keep it to your self then; and so he went his way. The Grazier was telling the next day, that the Wolves had Kill'd one of his Bullocks: That's like enough says the same Man, for I saw hin Wandring from the Herd, and I was afraid on't. I would you had told me this in time, says the Grazier. Why I came I know not how far Yesterday a-purpose to tell you the Story, and you would not hear on't.

The Man is too Delicate to be Happy, that makes it in his Bargain not to hear any ting that may give him a Present Trouble.

A Crow and a Raven

Your Raven has a Reputation in the World for a Bird of Omen, and a kind of small Prophet. A Crow that had Observ’d the Raven’s manner and Way of Delivering his Predictions, sets up for a Foreboder too; nd so gets upon a Tree, and there stands Nodding and Croaking, just over the Heads of some People that were Passing by. They were a little Surpriz’d at first; but so soon as they saw how ‘twas. Come, my Masters (says One of the Company) let’s e’en go forward, for this is but the chattering of a foolish Crow, it signifies Nothing.

How are Superstitious Men Hagg’d out of their Wits and Senses, with the Fancy of Omens, Forebodings, Old Wives Tales and Visions; and upon a Final Examination of the Matter, nothing at all in the Bottom on’t.

illustration from the Medici Aesop

A Woman, Cat and Mice

A Good Woman that was willing to keep her Cheese from the Mice, thought to mend the matter by getting her a Cat. Now Puss Answer'd the Womans Intent and Expectation, in keeping the Mice from Nibbling the Cheeses; but she her self at the same time devour'd the Mice, Cheese and all.

This has been our Case within the Memory of Man: There were a matter of Half a Dozen Little Roguy Political Mice lay Nibbling at our Liberties and Properties, and all Peoples Mouths Open'd for the Providing of some 500 Cats to Destroy them. The End on't was this, they Kill'd the Vermine; but then they Gobbled up Privileges and All: And was not the World well Amended?

An Eagle and a Leveret

An Eagle that was Sharp set, and upon the Wing, looking about her for her Prey, spy'd out a leveret, made a Stoop like Light'ning, and Truss'd it; and as she had it in the Foot, the Miserable Wretch Enter'd into an Idle Expostulation upon the Conscience, and Justice of the Proceeding: With what Honesty, says the Hare, Can you Invade the Right of another Body? Why, says the Eagle, To whom do you belong then? I belong to him, (says the Other) whom Heaven has made the Matter of all Living Creatures under the Sun, and from whom That Propriety cannot be taken without manifest Wrong and Usurpation. Man is My Master, and I know no other. Well, says the Eagle again in Wrath, And what's the Title now, that he pretends to this Propriety? Why 'tis the Excellency of his Reason, says the Hare, that Entitles him to this Sovereignty; which is a Claim that from the Creation of the World, to this Day, was never Subjected to the Question. In Truth, says the Eagle, You have advanc'd a very Pretty Invention here, insestting up Reason against Force, where the Cause is not to be Decided by Argument, but by Power: And to Convince ye now how much I am in the Right, You shall find, in despite of all other Pretensions, since I have ye under my Government and Law, that you were not Born for Him, but for Me.

Laws with Penalties are made for the Government of the Simple, and the Weak, like Cobwebs to Catch Flies; but Power is the Law of Laws, and there's no Disputing with it, but pon the Swords Point.

Roger L'Estrange (32)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

An Ant and a Pigeon

An Ant dropt, unluckily, into the Water as she was drinking at the Side of a Brook: A Wood-Pigeon took Pity of her, and threw her a little Bough to lay hold on. The Ant sav'd herself by that Bough, and in that very Instant, spies a Fellow with a Birding-Piece, making a Shoot at the Pigeon. Upon this Discovery, she presently runs up to him and stings him. The Fowler starts, and breaks his Aim, and away flies the Pigeon.

All Creatures have a Sense of good Offices, and Providence itself takes care, where other Means fail, that they may not pass unrewarded.

illustration by Billinghurst

A Fool and a Hot Iron

A Smith threw down a Horse-Shoe in his Shop that was but just come out of the Fire: A Fool took it up; it burnt his Fingers, and he cast it down again. Why ye Blockhead you says the Workman, could not you have try'd whether 'twas Hot or no before you Meddled with it? How try? says the Fool. Why a Hot Iron would have Hiss'd if you had but Spit upon't. The Fool carry'd this Philosophy away with him, and took an Occasion afterward to Spit in his Porridge, to try if they'd Hiss. They did not Hiss it seems, and so he Guttled 'em up, and Scalt his Chops. Well, says one that was by, and could not you have stay'd till they were Cold? Why I thought they had been Cold, says the Fool. You might have known they were Hot says t'other by their Smoaking. The Fool carried this in his Mind too; and going a while after to a Spring-Head to quench his Thirst, he fancy'd that the Fountain Smoak'd too; and there he staid 'till he was almost Choak'd, for fear of Burning his Chops once again.

The very Innocent may serve to Teach Wise Men Caution, that they Examine Matters before they pass a Judgment upon them; for otherwise we live at a kind of Hap Hazard, and without any Insight into Causes and Effects.

A Mountebank and a Bear

As a Quack was Exposing his Bills and his med'cines upon a Stage, in the Quality both of a Doctor and a Jack-Pudding, Thousands and Thousands of People Gaping and Staring at him with as much Reverence and Attention, as if every Word that came out of his Mouth had dropt from the Lips of an Oracle: It happen'd just in the Nick of this Interim, that an Officer of Paris-Garden was Leading one of his Majesties Bears, that way, with a Ring through the Nose of him. The Rabble immediately upon the Novelty of this Adventure, quitted the Mountebank, and Gather'd in Multitudes about the Bear, Shouting and Huzzaing along with him, as if it had been a Procession to a Pope-burning, or peradventure some more Pompous Spectacle. The Bear upon this Noise and Bussle (though none of the Quickest-Witted Animals) made a Speech to the Crowd after the best manner. Heark ye my Friends, says he, I'm Glad to see you so Merry at my being led like a Sot by the Nose thus; but pray let's Laugh at one another by Turns, for you are every Jot as Ridiculous to Me, as I am to You, the Mobile are led by the Ears just as the Bears are led by the Noses; and that's all the Difference in the Case betwixt us.

The Mobile are altogether for Noise and Novelty, and One New Thing drives out another: Nay, we take Pleasure in the very Spectacle that Effectually Abuses us; as a Bear with a Ring in his Nose, is no more then an Emblem of every Man of us, for we are led as much as He, some by the Ear or Eye; others by our Lusts and Affections: But in fine, every Soul of us some way or other.

A Miller and a Rat
A Miller took a huge Over-grown Rat in his Meal Tub; and there was He laying the Law to him about the Lewdness of his Life and Conversation, and the Abominable Sin of Stealing; but your Thieving says he, is now come Home to ye, and I shall e'en leave Honest Puss here to reckon with ye for all your Rogueries. Alas Sir, says the Poor Rat, I make no Trade on't; and the Miserable Pittance that I take, is only from Hand to Mouth, and out of Pure Necessity to keep Life and Soul together: As the Rat Pleaded Hunger on the One Hand, the Miller threw the Matter of Conscience and Honesty in his Teeth on the Other, and Preach'd to him upon the Topick of a Political Convenience, in making such Pilfering Knave Examples for the Publick Good. Well, Sir, says the Rat once again, but pray will you Consider for your own sake, that this is your own Case; and that You and I are both Corn Merchants, and of the same Fraternity; Nay, and that for One Grain that I take, you take a Thousand. This is not Language, cries the Miller, in a Rage, for an Honest Man to Bear; but the best on't is Sirrah, Your Tongue's no Slander: So he turn'd the Cat Loose upon him to do that which we call in the World an Execution of Justice.

'Tis a piece of Market Policy, for People of a Trade to bear hard One upon another, when it comes once to the Question betwixt a Couple of Knaves which is the Honester Man of the Two.

A Pigeon and a Picture

A Pigeon saw the Picture of a Glass with Water in’t, and taking it to be Water indeed, flew rashly and eagerly up to’t for a Soup to quench her Thirst. She broke her Feathers against the Frame of the Picture, and falling to the Ground upon’t, was taken up by the By-Standers.

Rash Men do many Things in Haste that they Repent of at Leisure.

illustration from the Medici Aesop

Roger L'Estrange (31)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Fly upon a Wheel

What a Dust do I raise! says the Fly upon the Coach-Wheel? and what a rate do I drive at, says the same Fly again upon the Horse's Buttock?

This Fly in the Fable, is every Trifling Arrogant Fop in Nature, by what Name or Title soever Dignify'd, or Distinguish'd.

illustration from a 16th-century Aesop

Joy and Sorrow Are Near A-kin

There pass'd a great many Bitter Words once upon a time betwixt Joy and Sorrow; insomuch that they moved the Court upon it by Consent, and made a Chancery Cause on't. Upon a Fair and Full Hearing, the Judge found some colour of Equity on Both Sides, and would fain have made 'em Friends again. You should consider, says he, how near y'are a-kin, and what a Scandal 'tis, to have these Heats and Squabbles among Relations: But all this went in at One Ear, and out at T'other: So that when he saw there was no Good to be done, he pass'd this Sentence upon them, that since they would not go Hand in Hand Amicably of Themselves, they should be Link'd together in a Chain; and Each of them in his Turn should be perpetually Treading upon the Heel of the Other; and not a Pin Matter then which went Foremost.

No Man is to Presume in Prosperity, or to Despair in Adversity; for Good and ill Fortune do as naturally succeed one another, as Day and Night.

A Woman Drown'd

An unfortunate Woman happen'd to be Drown'd, and her poor Husband was mightily in Pain to find out the Body; so away he goes along the Bank up the Course of the River, asking all he met still if they could tell him any Tidings of the Body of his Dear Wife, that was overturn'd in a Boat at such a Place Below. Why, if you'd find your Wife, they cry'd, You must look for her down the Stream. No, No, says the Man, my Wife's Will carried her against Wind and Tide all the Days of her Life; and now she's Dead, which way soever the Current runs, she'll be sure to be against it.

The Spirit of Contradiction in a cross-Grain'd Woman is Incurable.

illustration by Grandville

A Country-man and a Boar

A Country-man took a Boar in his Corn once, and cut off one of his Ears. He took him a Second time, and cut off T'other. He took him a Third time, and made a Present of him to his Landlord. Upon the opening of his Head, they found he had no Brains, and every Body fell a Wond'ring, and Discoursing upon it. Sir, says the Clown, If this Boar had had any Brains, he would have taken the Loss of both his Ears for a Warning, never to come into my Corn again. These Words of the silly Bumpkin set the whole Company a laughing.

An Incorrigible Fool that will take no Warning, there's no Hope of him.

The Shipwreck of Simonides

Simonides was a Learned Man, and an Excellent Poet, especially in the way of Panegyrick, or Encomium, to the Honour of the Great Men of his Age; insomuch that he made his Fortune by't. After some time spent abroad, and a great deal of Mony got by his Encomia upon the Hero's of those Times, he put Himself and his Treasure Aboard for his own Country again, in an Old Rotten Vessel. They fell into Foul Weather, and the Ship Miscarry'd. In the Hurry of the Shipwreck, while the Passengers were at their Wits end how to Save that which they took to be of the most Value, Simonides was the only Man that appear'd Unconcern'd, notwithstanding that his whole Fortune was at Stake in the Cargo. One Ask'd him, why he did not look after his Goods. Why so I do, says he, for all the Gods that I pretend to, I have now About me. In this Extremity, some made a shift to Swim A-shore; the greater Part sunk under the weight of what they thought to Preserve; and in the mean time came in a Crew of Free-Booters, that Rifled and Stript those that Scap'd. The Men that were Paddling for their Lives, made a Port, where by great Providence there liv'd a Famous Philosopher that was a Passionate Admirer, and a Diligent Reader of Simonides, and his Writings. This Philosopher upon the First Encounter, found out Simonides by his very Discourse; took him into his House, Cloath'd him, Furnish'd him with Mony, Provided him Servants, and put him into a Condition in fine, to Live in Honour and Plenty. As Simonides was walking the Streets a while after, he saw several of his Shipwreck'd Companions begging their Bread from Door to Door, with a Certificate of this Misfortune. Well, says Simonides, and d'ye not find it True now as I told ye, that a Man of Letters and of Integrity, carries all his Goods about him?

The Moral is no more then this, that Virtue shall never fail of a Reward in the Conclusion.

illustration from an early 18th-century Aesop

Roger L'Estrange (30)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

An Ass Taught Grammar

There was a bold undertaking Pedant, wager'd his Neck against a certain Sum of Money, that in Ten Years time he would teach an Ass to Write, Read and Chop Logick. His Friends call'd him a Thousand Mad-men for casting away his Life upon so absolute an Impossibility. Pray, Gentlemen, (says the Undertaker) have but a little Patience; for 'tis odds, that before the Term's out, either the Prince Dies (that's a Party to the Contract), or the Ass Dies, or the Adventurer Dies, and then the Danger's over.

Collusion without Malice is, in many Cases, not only Laudable but necessary.

illustration from Brant's Aesop

A Covetous Man and an Envious

There was a Covetous, and an Envious Man, that join'd in a Petition to Jupiter; who very graciously order'd Apollo to tell them that their Desire should be granted at a Venture; provided only, that whatever the one ask'd, should be doubled to the other. The Covetous Man, that thought he could never have enough, was a good while at a Stand; considering, that let him ask never so much, the other should have twice as much. But he came however by degrees, to pitch upon one thing after another, and his Companion had it double. It was now the Envious Man's turn to offer up his Request, which was, that one of his own Eyes might be put out, for his Companion was then to lose both.

Avarice and Envy are Two of the most diabolical, and insociable Vices under Heaven. The One assumes all to itself, and the Other wishes every Bit its Neighbour eats may choak him.

illustration by Barlow

An Image Expos'd to Sale

A Certain Carver, that had a Mercury lay a great while upon his Hands, bethought himself at last of Billing it about in Coffee-Houses, that at such a place there was a God to be Sold, a Merry Penn'orth, and such a Deity as would make any Man Rich, if you Keep him, as well as he will make me Rich if I Buy him. You say very Right says t'other; but 'tis Ready Mony that I want, and the Purchaser will have only an Estate in Reversion.

Ready Mony goes as far in Religion as in Trade: People are willing to Keep what they Have, and to get what they Can, without Launching out into Lives, and Uncertainties. They are well enough Content to deal in the Sale of Reversions, but they do not much care for Buying them.

An Eele and a Snake

You and I are so alike, says the Eele to the Snake, that methinks we should be somewhat a-kin; and yet they that persecute me, are afraid of you. What should be the reason of this? Oh (says the Snake) because no body does me an Injury but I make him smart for't.

In all Controversies they come off best that keep their Adversaries in fear of a Revenge.

illustration from a 16th-century Aesop

Jupiter's Altar Robb'd

A Thief Kindled his Torch at Jupiter's Altar, and then Robbed the Temple by the Light on't. As he was Packing away with his Sacrilegious Burden, a Voice, either of Heaven, or of Conscience, pursu'd him. The Time will come (says that Voice) when this Impious Villany of Yours shall cost ye Dear; not for the Value of what you have Stoll'n, but for the Contempt of Heaven and Religion, that you ought to have a Veneration for. Jupiter has taken care however to prevent these Insolent Affronts for the Time to come, by an Express Prohibition of any Communication for the future, betwixt the Fire upon his Altars, and that of Common Use.

Nothing more Familiar then to cover Sacrilege, Murder, Treason, etc. with a Text. And we are also to learn from hence, that we have no greater Enemies many times, then those we have Nurs'd and Bred up; and that Divine vengeance comes sure at Last, though it may be long first.

illustration from a 17th-century Aesop

Roger L'Estrange (29)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Vulture's Invitation

The Vulture took up a Fit of a very good Humour once, and invited the whole Nation of the Birds to make merry with him, upon the Anniversary of his Birth-Day. The Company came; the Vulture shuts the Doors upon them, and Devours his Guests instead of Treating Them.

There's no Meddling with any Man that has neither Faith, Honour nor Good Nature in him.

illustration from Steinhowel

A Country-Man and an Ass

As a Country-man was Grazing his Ass in a Meadow, comes a Hot Alarm, that the Enemy was just falling into their Quarters. The poor Man calls presently to his Ass, in a terrible Fright, to scoure away as fast as he could scamper: for, says he, we shall be taken else. Well, quoth the Ass, and what if we should be Taken? I have one Pack-Saddle upon my Back already, Will they clap another a-topof that, d'ye think? I can but be a Slave where-ever I am: so that Taken or not Taken, 'tis all a Case to Me.

It's some Comfort for a Body to be so Low that he cannot fall: And in such a Condition already that he cannot well be worse. If a Man be born to be a Slave, no Matter to what Master.

illustration by Grandville

A Cuckow and Little Birds

A Cuckow was asking several Little Birds, what made them so Shy of coming into her Company. They told her, that she was so like a Hawk, they did not care to have any thing to do with her.

A Wise Man Searches into the Nature of Things, and does not Govern himself by outward Semblances and Appearances.

A Country-man and a Panther

A Panther had the Fortune to drop into a Pit-fall. The People came Flocking about him; some Pelting and Battering him with Stones and Cudgels; others Pity'd him, and threw him somewhat to Eat. Toward Night, they went All Home again, taking for granted that they should find him Dead next Morning: But in that Interim he came to Himself again, and gave 'em the Slip: And upon getting Loose, he made such Havock both with Man and Beast, that the whole Country, Friend and Foe, were all in Dread of him. The Panther finding the Fright so General, call'd out to 'em, and told them; So many of ye (says he) as were King to me in the Pit, set your Hearts at Rest, for I'll not Hurt a Creature of ye now I am at Liberty. I have not forgotten who they were that gave me Bread, and who threw Stones at me; and I'm an Enemy only to those that were Enemies to me.

There's no Creature so Wild and Savage, and but it may be wrought upon and Reclaim'd by Good Offices and Benefits; to the shame of that part of Mankind, that returns Evil for Good, and is yet to Learn Humanity from the Beasts of the Forrests.

illustration from a 17th-century Phaedrus

A Cobler turn'd Doctor

A Bungling Cobler that was ready to Starve at his own Trade, changes his Quarter, and sets up for a Doctor; and by the Force of Sour Looks, and Hard Words, Conjures himself into some sort of Reputation with the Common People. His Masterpiece was a Composition that he Bill'd about, under the Name of a Sovereign Antidote. This Physician came in time to fall Sick himself, and the Governor of the Place gave him a Visit. He calls for a Cup, and a Dose of his Antidote, puts a little Fair Water in't, under a Pretence of so much Poison; stirs it together, and gives it his Patient. This (says he) is only to try the Force of your Medicine; and if you outlive it, I'le give ye a considerable Sum of Mony for your Receit. The poor Quack had more care of his Life then of his Credit, and so for fear of being Poyson'd, told the whole Truth of the Matter, and how he came to be a Physician. The Governour upon this Discovery, call'd the People together, and bad them consider the Folly and Madness of their Confidence, that would venture the Patching up of their Carcases, upon the Skill of an Ignorant Fellow, that no body that knew him would trust so much as with the Mending of a pair of Old Shoes.

There's Quacking in all Trades: Bold Ignorance passes upon the Multitude for Science; and it is with Men as 'tis with Brutes, some are to Eat, and others to be Eaten. Confident Knaves, live upon Credulous Fools.

illustration from an early 18th-century Phaedrus

Roger L'Estrange (28)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Snake to Jupiter

A Snake that found himself persecuted by Men, appeal'd to Jupiter for Relief; who told him that it was his own Fault; for (says he) if you had but bit the first Man that affronted ye; the second would have taken warning by't.

The putting up of one Affront draws on another.

illustration by from the Medici Aesop

A Crow and a Pitcher

A Crow that was extream thirsty, found a Pitcher with a little Water in't, but it lay so low he could not come at it. He try'd first to break the Pot and then to over-turn it, but it was both too strong, and too heavy for him. He bethought himself however of a Device at last that did his Bus'ness; which was, by dropping a great many little Pebbles into the Water, and raising it that way, till he had it within Reach.

There is a Natural Logick in Animals over and above the Instinct of their Kinds.

illustration by Tenniel

A Wench parting with her Sweetheart

A Common Wench was wringing her Hands, and crying herself to Death almost; and what was the Business forsooth, but she had newly parted with her Sweet-Heart. Away, ye Fool you (says one of her Neighbours) to torment yourself out of your Life for such a Fellow as this! Nay, says the Lass, I am not so much troubled at parting with the Man; but he has carry'd away his Coat too; and truly, when he had given me all he had in the World beside, methinks I have e'en might had that too as well as all the rest.

Here's a Mercenary Prostitute drawn to the very quick, that lays her Profit more to Heart than her Love.

The Washing of a Blackmore

A Man gave Money for a Black, upon an Opinion that his Swarthy Colour was rather Sluttery than Nature; and the Fault of his last Master, in a great Measure, that he kept him no Cleaner: He took him Home with him, and try’d all manner of Washes to bring him to a Better Complexion; but there was no Good to be done upon him; besides, that the very Tampering cast him into a Disease.

Natural Inclinations may be Moulded and Wrought upon by Good Councel and Discipline; but there are certain Specifick Properties and Impressions, that are never to be Alter’d or Defac’d.

illustration from a 19th-century Croxall

A Generous Lion

As a Lion was Bestriding an Ox that he had newly Pluck'd down, a Robber passing by, Cry'd out to him, Half-Shares. You should go your Snip says the Lion, if you were not so forward to be your own Carver. The Thief had but just turn'd his Back, when up comes an Innocent Traveller, that so soon as ever he saw the Lion, was going off again. The Lion bad him Fear Nothing, but take part of the Prey with him in Reward of his Modesty; Whereupon the Lion went immediately into the Woods to make Way for the Traveller.

If Great Men in the World would but follow the Example of the Lion in this Fable, Sharpers should not Ride in Triumph any longer, while Honest Men go out at the Elbows.

illustration from a 17th-century Phaedrus

Roger L'Estrange (27)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

Wax and Brick

There was a Question started once about Wax and Brick, why the one should be so brittle, and liable to be broken with every Knock, and the other bear up against all Injuries and Weathers, so durable and firm. The Wax philosophiz'd upon the Matter, and finding out at last, that it was Burning made the Brick so hard, cast itself into the Fire, upon an Opinion that Heat would harden the Wax too; but that which Consolidated the one, Dissolv'd the other.

'Tis a Folly to try Conclusions, without understanding the Nature of the Matter in Question.

illustration by Grandville

Demades the Orator

This Demades was a very famous Orator, and taking Notice as he was in the middle of a Discourse to the People upon a Subject of great Importance, that their Thoughts were wandering upon something else, he slipt from his Text into this Digression. Ceres, (says he) a Swallow and Eele were travelling together upon the Way: They came to a River, it seems, and the Swallow flew over it; the Eele made a shift to swim through it; - And there he stopt, Well, (says some of the Company) and what became of Ceres? Why (says Demades) the Goddess was mightily offended, to find so many People in the World that are deaf to any thing they may the better for, and yet have their Ears open to Fooleries.

People are sooner reclaim'd by the Side-Wind of a Surprise, than by downright Admonition and Counsel; for they'll lend an Ear to a Parable when nothing else will down with them.

Industry and Sloth

One was asking a Lazy Young Fellow, what made him Lie in Bed so long? Why (says he) I am hearing of Causes every Morning; that is to say, I have two Lasses at my Bed-side, so soon as ever I wake. Their Names are Industry and Sloth; One bids me get up; the other bids me lie still; and so they give me Twenty Reasons why I should Rise, and why I should not. 'Tis the part in the mean time of a Just Judge to hear what can be said on both Sides; and before the Cause is over, 'tis time to go to Dinner.

We spend our Day sin Deliberating what to do, and we end them without coming to any Resolution.

illustration by Mulready

A Horse and a Hog

A Hog took notice of a Horse in the height of his Courage, that was just advancing to charge an Enemy. Why, what a Fool art thou, says the Hog to him, to make such haste to be destroy'd? That Consideration, says the Horse, may do well enough in the Mouth of a wicked Creature, that's only Fatted up to be kill'd by a Knife; but whenever I'm taken off, I'll leave the Memory of a good Name behind me.

'Tis the Cause makes the Martyr.

A Man at a Fish-Dinner

A Certain prince took a Learned Man to Dinner with him: It was a Fasting-Day it seems, and a great deal of Large Grown Fish there was at the Table; only at the Lower End, where the Philosopher sat, there were none but Little Ones. He took out several of them One by One, and first put his Mouth to the Fishes Ear, and then the Fishers Mouth to his own ear, and so laid 'em in whole again, without so much as Tasting one Bit of 'em. Come Sir, says the Master of the Feast, You have some Pleasant Thought or other in your Head now, Pray let the Company take part with ye. Why Sir, says he, My Father had the Ill-Fortune about Two Years ago to be Cast away upon this Coast; and I was asking these Little Fishes if they could tell me what became of his Body: They said No, they could not, for 'twas before their Time: But if I Examin'd the Great Ones, 'tis possible they might be able to say somewhat to't. The Prince was so well pleas'd with the Fancy, that he Order'd his Mess to be Chang'd, and from that Time forward, no body Welcomer to the Table then this Man.

It is a Master-piece in Conversation, to intermix Wit and Liberty so Discreetly, that there may be nothing in't that's Bitter, Course or out of Season.

illustration by Billinghurst