A Fly upon a Wheel
What a Dust do I raise! says the Fly upon the Coach-Wheel? and what a rate do I drive at, says the same Fly again upon the Horse's Buttock?
This Fly in the Fable, is every Trifling Arrogant Fop in Nature, by what Name or Title soever Dignify'd, or Distinguish'd.
Joy and Sorrow Are Near A-kin
There pass'd a great many Bitter Words once upon a time betwixt Joy and Sorrow; insomuch that they moved the Court upon it by Consent, and made a Chancery Cause on't. Upon a Fair and Full Hearing, the Judge found some colour of Equity on Both Sides, and would fain have made 'em Friends again. You should consider, says he, how near y'are a-kin, and what a Scandal 'tis, to have these Heats and Squabbles among Relations: But all this went in at One Ear, and out at T'other: So that when he saw there was no Good to be done, he pass'd this Sentence upon them, that since they would not go Hand in Hand Amicably of Themselves, they should be Link'd together in a Chain; and Each of them in his Turn should be perpetually Treading upon the Heel of the Other; and not a Pin Matter then which went Foremost.
No Man is to Presume in Prosperity, or to Despair in Adversity; for Good and ill Fortune do as naturally succeed one another, as Day and Night.
A Woman Drown'd
An unfortunate Woman happen'd to be Drown'd, and her poor Husband was mightily in Pain to find out the Body; so away he goes along the Bank up the Course of the River, asking all he met still if they could tell him any Tidings of the Body of his Dear Wife, that was overturn'd in a Boat at such a Place Below. Why, if you'd find your Wife, they cry'd, You must look for her down the Stream. No, No, says the Man, my Wife's Will carried her against Wind and Tide all the Days of her Life; and now she's Dead, which way soever the Current runs, she'll be sure to be against it.
The Spirit of Contradiction in a cross-Grain'd Woman is Incurable.
A Country-man and a Boar
A Country-man took a Boar in his Corn once, and cut off one of his Ears. He took him a Second time, and cut off T'other. He took him a Third time, and made a Present of him to his Landlord. Upon the opening of his Head, they found he had no Brains, and every Body fell a Wond'ring, and Discoursing upon it. Sir, says the Clown, If this Boar had had any Brains, he would have taken the Loss of both his Ears for a Warning, never to come into my Corn again. These Words of the silly Bumpkin set the whole Company a laughing.
An Incorrigible Fool that will take no Warning, there's no Hope of him.
The Shipwreck of Simonides
Simonides was a Learned Man, and an Excellent Poet, especially in the way of Panegyrick, or Encomium, to the Honour of the Great Men of his Age; insomuch that he made his Fortune by't. After some time spent abroad, and a great deal of Mony got by his Encomia upon the Hero's of those Times, he put Himself and his Treasure Aboard for his own Country again, in an Old Rotten Vessel. They fell into Foul Weather, and the Ship Miscarry'd. In the Hurry of the Shipwreck, while the Passengers were at their Wits end how to Save that which they took to be of the most Value, Simonides was the only Man that appear'd Unconcern'd, notwithstanding that his whole Fortune was at Stake in the Cargo. One Ask'd him, why he did not look after his Goods. Why so I do, says he, for all the Gods that I pretend to, I have now About me. In this Extremity, some made a shift to Swim A-shore; the greater Part sunk under the weight of what they thought to Preserve; and in the mean time came in a Crew of Free-Booters, that Rifled and Stript those that Scap'd. The Men that were Paddling for their Lives, made a Port, where by great Providence there liv'd a Famous Philosopher that was a Passionate Admirer, and a Diligent Reader of Simonides, and his Writings. This Philosopher upon the First Encounter, found out Simonides by his very Discourse; took him into his House, Cloath'd him, Furnish'd him with Mony, Provided him Servants, and put him into a Condition in fine, to Live in Honour and Plenty. As Simonides was walking the Streets a while after, he saw several of his Shipwreck'd Companions begging their Bread from Door to Door, with a Certificate of this Misfortune. Well, says Simonides, and d'ye not find it True now as I told ye, that a Man of Letters and of Integrity, carries all his Goods about him?
The Moral is no more then this, that Virtue shall never fail of a Reward in the Conclusion.
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