Wax and Brick
There was a Question started once about Wax and Brick, why the one should be so brittle, and liable to be broken with every Knock, and the other bear up against all Injuries and Weathers, so durable and firm. The Wax philosophiz'd upon the Matter, and finding out at last, that it was Burning made the Brick so hard, cast itself into the Fire, upon an Opinion that Heat would harden the Wax too; but that which Consolidated the one, Dissolv'd the other.
'Tis a Folly to try Conclusions, without understanding the Nature of the Matter in Question.
Demades the Orator
This Demades was a very famous Orator, and taking Notice as he was in the middle of a Discourse to the People upon a Subject of great Importance, that their Thoughts were wandering upon something else, he slipt from his Text into this Digression. Ceres, (says he) a Swallow and Eele were travelling together upon the Way: They came to a River, it seems, and the Swallow flew over it; the Eele made a shift to swim through it; - And there he stopt, Well, (says some of the Company) and what became of Ceres? Why (says Demades) the Goddess was mightily offended, to find so many People in the World that are deaf to any thing they may the better for, and yet have their Ears open to Fooleries.
People are sooner reclaim'd by the Side-Wind of a Surprise, than by downright Admonition and Counsel; for they'll lend an Ear to a Parable when nothing else will down with them.
Industry and Sloth
One was asking a Lazy Young Fellow, what made him Lie in Bed so long? Why (says he) I am hearing of Causes every Morning; that is to say, I have two Lasses at my Bed-side, so soon as ever I wake. Their Names are Industry and Sloth; One bids me get up; the other bids me lie still; and so they give me Twenty Reasons why I should Rise, and why I should not. 'Tis the part in the mean time of a Just Judge to hear what can be said on both Sides; and before the Cause is over, 'tis time to go to Dinner.
We spend our Day sin Deliberating what to do, and we end them without coming to any Resolution.
A Horse and a Hog
A Hog took notice of a Horse in the height of his Courage, that was just advancing to charge an Enemy. Why, what a Fool art thou, says the Hog to him, to make such haste to be destroy'd? That Consideration, says the Horse, may do well enough in the Mouth of a wicked Creature, that's only Fatted up to be kill'd by a Knife; but whenever I'm taken off, I'll leave the Memory of a good Name behind me.
'Tis the Cause makes the Martyr.
A Man at a Fish-Dinner
A Certain prince took a Learned Man to Dinner with him: It was a Fasting-Day it seems, and a great deal of Large Grown Fish there was at the Table; only at the Lower End, where the Philosopher sat, there were none but Little Ones. He took out several of them One by One, and first put his Mouth to the Fishes Ear, and then the Fishers Mouth to his own ear, and so laid 'em in whole again, without so much as Tasting one Bit of 'em. Come Sir, says the Master of the Feast, You have some Pleasant Thought or other in your Head now, Pray let the Company take part with ye. Why Sir, says he, My Father had the Ill-Fortune about Two Years ago to be Cast away upon this Coast; and I was asking these Little Fishes if they could tell me what became of his Body: They said No, they could not, for 'twas before their Time: But if I Examin'd the Great Ones, 'tis possible they might be able to say somewhat to't. The Prince was so well pleas'd with the Fancy, that he Order'd his Mess to be Chang'd, and from that Time forward, no body Welcomer to the Table then this Man.
It is a Master-piece in Conversation, to intermix Wit and Liberty so Discreetly, that there may be nothing in't that's Bitter, Course or out of Season.
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