Roger L'Estrange (30)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

An Ass Taught Grammar

There was a bold undertaking Pedant, wager'd his Neck against a certain Sum of Money, that in Ten Years time he would teach an Ass to Write, Read and Chop Logick. His Friends call'd him a Thousand Mad-men for casting away his Life upon so absolute an Impossibility. Pray, Gentlemen, (says the Undertaker) have but a little Patience; for 'tis odds, that before the Term's out, either the Prince Dies (that's a Party to the Contract), or the Ass Dies, or the Adventurer Dies, and then the Danger's over.

Collusion without Malice is, in many Cases, not only Laudable but necessary.

illustration from Brant's Aesop

A Covetous Man and an Envious

There was a Covetous, and an Envious Man, that join'd in a Petition to Jupiter; who very graciously order'd Apollo to tell them that their Desire should be granted at a Venture; provided only, that whatever the one ask'd, should be doubled to the other. The Covetous Man, that thought he could never have enough, was a good while at a Stand; considering, that let him ask never so much, the other should have twice as much. But he came however by degrees, to pitch upon one thing after another, and his Companion had it double. It was now the Envious Man's turn to offer up his Request, which was, that one of his own Eyes might be put out, for his Companion was then to lose both.

Avarice and Envy are Two of the most diabolical, and insociable Vices under Heaven. The One assumes all to itself, and the Other wishes every Bit its Neighbour eats may choak him.

illustration by Barlow

An Image Expos'd to Sale

A Certain Carver, that had a Mercury lay a great while upon his Hands, bethought himself at last of Billing it about in Coffee-Houses, that at such a place there was a God to be Sold, a Merry Penn'orth, and such a Deity as would make any Man Rich, if you Keep him, as well as he will make me Rich if I Buy him. You say very Right says t'other; but 'tis Ready Mony that I want, and the Purchaser will have only an Estate in Reversion.

Ready Mony goes as far in Religion as in Trade: People are willing to Keep what they Have, and to get what they Can, without Launching out into Lives, and Uncertainties. They are well enough Content to deal in the Sale of Reversions, but they do not much care for Buying them.

An Eele and a Snake

You and I are so alike, says the Eele to the Snake, that methinks we should be somewhat a-kin; and yet they that persecute me, are afraid of you. What should be the reason of this? Oh (says the Snake) because no body does me an Injury but I make him smart for't.

In all Controversies they come off best that keep their Adversaries in fear of a Revenge.

illustration from a 16th-century Aesop

Jupiter's Altar Robb'd

A Thief Kindled his Torch at Jupiter's Altar, and then Robbed the Temple by the Light on't. As he was Packing away with his Sacrilegious Burden, a Voice, either of Heaven, or of Conscience, pursu'd him. The Time will come (says that Voice) when this Impious Villany of Yours shall cost ye Dear; not for the Value of what you have Stoll'n, but for the Contempt of Heaven and Religion, that you ought to have a Veneration for. Jupiter has taken care however to prevent these Insolent Affronts for the Time to come, by an Express Prohibition of any Communication for the future, betwixt the Fire upon his Altars, and that of Common Use.

Nothing more Familiar then to cover Sacrilege, Murder, Treason, etc. with a Text. And we are also to learn from hence, that we have no greater Enemies many times, then those we have Nurs'd and Bred up; and that Divine vengeance comes sure at Last, though it may be long first.

illustration from a 17th-century Aesop