Roger L'Estrange (37)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Man Had a Mind to Try his Friends.

There was a generous Rich Man, that kept a Splendid and an Open Table, and consequently never wanted Guests. This Person found all People came to him promiscuously, and a Curiosity took him in the Head to try which of them were Friends, and which only Trencher-Flies and Spungers. So he took an occasion one Day, at a Full Table, to tell them of a Quarrel he had, and that he was just then going to demand Satisfaction. There must be so many to so many, and he made no doubt, but they'd stand by him with their Swords in their Hands. they all excus'd themselves save only Two; which Two he reckon'd upon as his Friends, and all the rest no better than Hangers-on.

We may talk of many Friends; but not One Man of a Thousand will stand the Test.

An Eagle and a Pye.

There was a pert-dapper Spark of a Mag-Pye, that fancy'd the Birds would never be well govern'd till he himself should come to sit at the Helm. In this Freak he petition'd the Eagle to take him into his Cabinet; for, says he, I have no ill turn of a Body for't. I have my Tongue and my Heels at command; and can make as much Noise and Bussle, to as little Purpose, as any He perhaps that flies between a Pair of Wings. He was going on in the History of his Qualifications, when the Eagle graciously told him, how sensible he was of the Volubility both of his Tongue, and of his Manners, and so of his Faculties and good Breeding; but, says he, you are so confoundedly given to Squirting up and down, and Chattering, that the World would be apt to say, I had chosen a Jack Pudding for a Prime Minister.

Great Babblers, or Talkers are a sort of People not fit either for Trust, Business or Conversation.

illustration by Grandville

A Weak Young Man and a Wolfe.

A Creeping Young Fellow that had Committed Matrimony with a Brisk Gamesome Lass, was so Alter'd upon't in a Few Days, that he was liker a Sceleton than a Living Man. He was Basking himself one time in the Gleam of the Sun, and some Huntsmen pass'd by him upon the Chase of a Wolfe that led 'em That Way. Why how comes it (says he) that you don't Catch That Wolfe? They told him that he was too Nimble for 'em. Well (says he) If my Wife had the Ordering of him, she'd Spoil his Footmanships.

Marriage they say breeds Cares and Cuckolds.

A Cockle and Jupiter.

In old time, when Jupiter was in the Humour of granting Petitions, a Cockle made it his Request, that his House and his Body might be all of a piece. Jupiter made him Answer, that it would be a Burden to him instead of a Favour. Yes, says the Cockle, but it will be such a Burden as I had rather bear, than life expos'd to ill Neighbours.

Impertinent Visits are the Plague of a Sober Man's Life, and therefore 'tis a happy thing when a Body may be at Home, or not at Home, as he pleases.

illustration from a 1590 Aesop

A Corrupt Officer.

A Certain Governour of a Province that had a long Time Pill'd, and Oppress'd the People under his Charge, was call'd to Account in the Conclusion for Receiving of Bribes; and sentenc'd to Refund what he had wrongfully Taken. He came as unwillingly to the Point, as a Bear to the Stake, which gave Occasion to some Body's saying, that it was with this Man and his Money, as it is with Women and their Children; He was well enough pleased in the Getting of it; but it went to the very Heart of him when he Parted with it.

Great Officers are but like Sponges; they suck 'till they are full, and when they come once to be squeez'd, the very Heart's Blood of them come away with their Money.