Roger L'Estrange (39)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Country-man and a River.

A Country-man that was to pass a River, founded it up and down to try where it was most fordable: and upon Trial he made this Observation on't: Where the Water ran Smooth, he found it Deepest; and on the contrary, Shallowest where it made most Noise.

There's More Danger in a Reserv'd and Silent, than in a Noisy, Babbling Enemy.

A Fir and a Bramble.

There goes a Story of a Fir-Tree, that in a vain spiteful Humour, was mightily upon the Pin of commending itself, and despising the Bramble. My Head (says the Fir) is advanc'd among the Stars. I furnish Beams for Palaces, Masts for Shipping: The very Sweat of my Body is a Sovereign Remedy for the Sick and Wounded. Whereas the Rascally Bramble runs creeping in the Dirt, and serves for nothing in the World but Mischief. Well, says the Bramble, (that over-heard all this) you might have said somewhat of your own Misfortune, and to my Advantage too, if your Pride and Envy would have suffer'd you to do it. But pray will you tell me however, when the Carpenter comes next with the Axe into the Wood, to fell Timber, whether you had not rather be a Bramble than a Fir-Tree.

Poverty secures a Man from Thieves, great and small: Whereas the Rich and the Mighty, are the Mark of Malice, and Cross Fortune; and still the Higher they are, the Nearer the Thunder.

illustration by Rackham

A Pigeon and a Pye.

A Pye was Wond'ring once to a Pigeon, why she would Breed still in the same Hole, when her Young Ones were constantly taken away from her before they were able to fly. Why That's my Simplicity, says the Pigeon. I mean no Harm, and I suspect none.

Do as you would be done by, it is a Better Rule in the Doctrine than in the Practice: For Trust as you would be Trusted, will not hold betwixt a Knave and an Honest Man. There's no Dealing with a Sharper but at his Own Play.

Oxen and a Piece of Timber.

The Timber was complaining of the Ingratitude of the Oxen. How often, says the Timber, have I fed ye with my Leaves, and reliev'd ye under my Shadow? and for you to drag me now at this Rate, over Dirt and Stones! Alas! cry'd the Oxen: Do not you see how we pant and groan, and how we are goaded on, to do what we do? The Timber consider'd how unwillingly they did it, and so forgave them.

What we are forc'd to do by an Over-ruling Power and Necessity is not properly our own Act.

illustration by Detmold

Capons Fat and Lean.

There were a great many Cramm'd Capons together in a Coop, some of 'em very Fair and Fat, and Others again did not thrive upon Feeding. The Fat Ones would be ever and anon making sport with the Lean, and calling them Starvelings; 'till in the End, the Cook was order'd to dress so many Capons for Supper, and to be sure to take the best in the Pen: When it came to that once, they that had most Flesh upon their Backs, wish'd they had had less, and 'twould have been better for 'em.

Prosperity makes People Proud, Fat, and Wanton; but when a Day of Reckoning comes, They are the First still that go to Pot.

Roger L'Estrange (38)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Creaking Wheel.

A Waggoner took notice upon the Creaking of a Wheel, that it was the worst Wheel of the Four that made most Noise, and was wondring at the Reason of it. Oh, says the Waggon, they that are Sickly are ever the most Piping and Troublesome.

'Tis with Creaking Wheels as 'tis with Courtiers, Physicians, Lawyers, (and with whom not?), They want Greazing.

Wolfe in a Sheeps-Skin.

There goes a Story of a Wolfe, that Wrapt himself up in a Sheeps-skin, and Worry'd Lambs for a Good while under That Disguise; but the Shepherd Met with him at last, and Truss'd him up, Sheeps-skin and all, upon an Eminent Gibbet, for a Spectacle, and an Example. The Neighbours made a Wonderment at it, and Ask'd him what he meant to Hang up his Sheep? Oh, says he, That's only the Skin of a Sheep, that was made use of to Cover the Heart, Malice, and Body of a Wolfe that Shrouded himself under it.

Hypocrisie is only the Devil's Stalking Horse, under an Affectation of Simplicity and Religion. People are not to be Judg'd by their Looks, Habits, and Appearances; but by the Character of their Lives and Conversations, and by their Works.

A Country-man and an Oxe.

A Countryman had got a stubborn Oxe, that would still be Pushing and Flinging, whenever they went to Yoak, or to Tye him up. The Man cuts off his Horns, and puts him to the Plough, and by that means secures himself, both against his Head and his Heels, and in the mean time, he himself Guides the Plough: But though the Oxe, when he was thus Shackled and Disarmed, could not either Strike or Gore him, he made a shift yet to throw Dust enough into his Eyes, and his Mouth, almost to Blind, and to Choak him.

A Malicious Man may be bound Hand and Foot, and put out of Condition of doing Mischief, but a Malicious Will is never to be master'd.

illustration from Steinhowel's Aesop

An Incorrigible Son.

It was the Hard Lot of a very Good Man to have a Vicious Young Fellow to his Son; and he did what he could to Reclaim him: But Sir (says he) for Brevity's sake, 'tis only so much Time and Councel thrown away; for all the Parsons about the Town have been Baiting me I know not how long now, upon the same Subject, and I'm not One Jot the Better for't.

Some Men Live as if they had made a Covenant with hell; Let Divines, Fathers, Friends say what they will, they Stop their Ears against them: And Good Councel is wholly Cast away upon them.

An Old Man resolv'd to give over Whoring.

There was an Old Tost, that in the very State of Impotence, had still a Whore in the Head of him. His Ghostly Father took Notice of it, and Ply'd him Hard with Wholesome Advice, upon the Subject of the Lusts of the Flesh. This Reverend Fornicator thank'd him most Heartily for his Kind and Christian Councel, and the Grace of Heaven, says he, I'll Follow it; For to tell ye the Plain Truth on't, I am told that 'tis Naught for me; and really, my Body is quite out of Tune for Those Gambols.

When Things are at the Worst they'd Mend.

Roger L'Estrange (37)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Man Had a Mind to Try his Friends.

There was a generous Rich Man, that kept a Splendid and an Open Table, and consequently never wanted Guests. This Person found all People came to him promiscuously, and a Curiosity took him in the Head to try which of them were Friends, and which only Trencher-Flies and Spungers. So he took an occasion one Day, at a Full Table, to tell them of a Quarrel he had, and that he was just then going to demand Satisfaction. There must be so many to so many, and he made no doubt, but they'd stand by him with their Swords in their Hands. they all excus'd themselves save only Two; which Two he reckon'd upon as his Friends, and all the rest no better than Hangers-on.

We may talk of many Friends; but not One Man of a Thousand will stand the Test.

An Eagle and a Pye.

There was a pert-dapper Spark of a Mag-Pye, that fancy'd the Birds would never be well govern'd till he himself should come to sit at the Helm. In this Freak he petition'd the Eagle to take him into his Cabinet; for, says he, I have no ill turn of a Body for't. I have my Tongue and my Heels at command; and can make as much Noise and Bussle, to as little Purpose, as any He perhaps that flies between a Pair of Wings. He was going on in the History of his Qualifications, when the Eagle graciously told him, how sensible he was of the Volubility both of his Tongue, and of his Manners, and so of his Faculties and good Breeding; but, says he, you are so confoundedly given to Squirting up and down, and Chattering, that the World would be apt to say, I had chosen a Jack Pudding for a Prime Minister.

Great Babblers, or Talkers are a sort of People not fit either for Trust, Business or Conversation.

illustration by Grandville

A Weak Young Man and a Wolfe.

A Creeping Young Fellow that had Committed Matrimony with a Brisk Gamesome Lass, was so Alter'd upon't in a Few Days, that he was liker a Sceleton than a Living Man. He was Basking himself one time in the Gleam of the Sun, and some Huntsmen pass'd by him upon the Chase of a Wolfe that led 'em That Way. Why how comes it (says he) that you don't Catch That Wolfe? They told him that he was too Nimble for 'em. Well (says he) If my Wife had the Ordering of him, she'd Spoil his Footmanships.

Marriage they say breeds Cares and Cuckolds.

A Cockle and Jupiter.

In old time, when Jupiter was in the Humour of granting Petitions, a Cockle made it his Request, that his House and his Body might be all of a piece. Jupiter made him Answer, that it would be a Burden to him instead of a Favour. Yes, says the Cockle, but it will be such a Burden as I had rather bear, than life expos'd to ill Neighbours.

Impertinent Visits are the Plague of a Sober Man's Life, and therefore 'tis a happy thing when a Body may be at Home, or not at Home, as he pleases.

illustration from a 1590 Aesop

A Corrupt Officer.

A Certain Governour of a Province that had a long Time Pill'd, and Oppress'd the People under his Charge, was call'd to Account in the Conclusion for Receiving of Bribes; and sentenc'd to Refund what he had wrongfully Taken. He came as unwillingly to the Point, as a Bear to the Stake, which gave Occasion to some Body's saying, that it was with this Man and his Money, as it is with Women and their Children; He was well enough pleased in the Getting of it; but it went to the very Heart of him when he Parted with it.

Great Officers are but like Sponges; they suck 'till they are full, and when they come once to be squeez'd, the very Heart's Blood of them come away with their Money.