Roger L'Estrange (42)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Lapwing Preferr'd.

Upon a General Invitation to the Eagle's Wedding, there were several Birds of Quality among the Rest, that took it in Heavy Dudgeon to see a Lapwing Plac'd at the Upper End of the Table. 'Tis true, they cry'd, he has a kind of a Coxcomb upon the Crown of him, and a Few Tawdry Feathers; but Alas, he never Eat a Good Meals Meat in his Life, till he came to This Preferment.

'Tis a Scandal to a Government, and there goes Envy along with it, where Honours are Conferr'd upon Men for Address, Beauty, and External Advantages, rather then for their Good Qualities and Virtues.

A Hunts-man and a Currier.

A Currier bought a Bear-Skin of a Hunts-man, and laid him down ready Money for't. The Hunts-man told him that he would kill a Bear next day and he should have the Skin. The Currier, for his Curiosity, went out with the Hunts-man to the Chace; and mounted a tree, where he might see the Sport. The Hunts-man advanc'd very bravely up to the Den where the Bear lay, and threw in his Dogs upon him. He Rustled out immediately, and the Man missing his Aim, the Bear overturn'd him. So the Fellow held his Breath, and lay Stone still, as if he were dead. The Bear snuffled, and smelt to him; and took him for a Carcass, and so left him. When the Bear was gone, and the Danger over, down comes the Currier from the Tree, and bad the Hunts-Man Rise. Heark ye, my Friend, says the Currier, the Bear whisper'd somewhat in your Ear. What was it, I prithee? Oh (says the Hunts-Man) he bad me have a care for the future, so make sure of the Bear, before I sell his Skin.

Let no Man undertake for more than he is able to make good.

An Oxe and a Heifer.

A Wanton Heifer that had little else to do than to frisk up and down in a Meadow, at Ease and Pleasure, came up to a working Oxe with a Thousand Reproaches in her Mouth; bless me, says the Heifer, what a Difference there is betwixt your Coat and Condition, and mine! Why, what a gall'd nasty Neck have we here! Look ye, mine's as clean as a Penny, and smooth as Silk I warrant ye. 'Tis a lavish Life to be yoak'd thus,and in perpetual Labour. What would you give to be as free and easy now as I am? The Oxe kept these Things in his Thoughts, without one Word in Answer at present; but seeing the Heifer taken up a while after for a Sacrifice: Well Sister, sayshe, and have you not frisked fair now, when the Ease and Liberty you valu'd your self upon, has brought you to this End?

'Tis no new Thing for Men of Liberty and Pleasure, to make sport with the Plain, Honest Servants of their Prince and Country. But mark the End on't, and while the one labours in his Duty with a good Conscience, the other, like a Beast, but Fatting up for the Shambles.

illustration by Tenniel

A Hermit and a Soldier.

There was a Holy Man, that took a Soldier to task, upon the Subject of his Profession, and laid before him the Hazard, the Sins, and the Troubles that attend People of that Trade: Wherefore, says he, for your Soul's Sake, Sir, pray give it over. Well! Father, says the Soldier, I'll do as you bid me; for really we are so ill paid, and there's so little to be gotten by Pillage, that I fancy I had e'en as good betake myself to a godly Life.

When People can live no longer by their Sins, 'tis high time for them to mend their Manners.

A River and a Fountain.

There happen'd a Dispute betwixt a River and a Fountain, which of the Two should have the Preference. The River valu'd it self upon the Plenty and Variety of Fish that it produc'd; the Advantages of Navigation; the many Brave Towns and Palaces that were built upon the Banks of it, purely for the Pleasure of the Situation. And then for the General Satisfaction, in fine, that it yielded to Mankind, in the Matter both of Convenience and Delight: Whereas (says the River) the Fountain passes obscurely through the Caverns of the Earth; lies bury'd up in Moss, and comes creeping into the World, as if it were asham'd to shew the Head. The Fountain took the Insolence and the Vanity of This Reproche so Heinously, that it presently Choak'd up the Spring, and Stopt the Course of its Waters: Insomuch that the Channel was immediately dry'd up, and the Fish left Dead and Stinking in the Mud; as a Just Judgment upon the Stream for Derogating from the Original and Author of All the Blessings it Enjoy'd.

He that Arrogates any Good to Himself, detracts from the Author of all the Good he Enjoys.

Roger L'Estrange (41)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

The Mice and the Oak.

The Mice found it so troublesom to be still climbing the Oak for every Bit they put in their Bellies, that they were once to set their Teeth to't, and bring the Acorns down to them; but some wiser than some, and a Grave Experienc'd Mouse, bad them have a care what they did; for it we destroy our Nurse at present, who shall feed us hereafter?

Resolution without Foresight is but a Temerarious Folly: And the Consequences of Things are the first Point to be taken into Consideration.

A Fox and a Worm.

A Worm put forth his Head out of a Dunghill, and made Proclamation of his Skill in Physick. Pray, says the Fox, Begin with your own infirmities before you Meddle with other Peoples.

Physician Cure thy self.

Reflection. Saying and Doing are Two Things. Physician Cure thy Self, Preaches to us upon this Fable. Every Man does best in his own Trade, and the Cobbler is not to go beyond his Last. We have of these Dunghill-Pretenders in all Professions, and but too many of them that Thrive upon their Arrogance. If this Worm had met with an Ass to Encourage his Vanity, instead of a Fox to Correct it, he might have been Advanc'd to a Doctor of the College perhaps; or to some more Considerable Post of Honour, either in Church or State.

illustration from the Medici Aesop

A Run-away Dog and his Master.

There was a Bob-tail'd Cur, cry'd in a Gazette, and one that found him out by his Marks, brought him home to his Master; who fell presently to reasoning the matter with him, how insensible and thankless a Wretch he was, to run away from one that was so extream kind to him. Did I ever give you a Blow in my Life, says he, or so much as one Angry Word, in all the time that ever you serv'd me? No, says the Dog, not with your own Hands, nor with your own Lips; but you have given me a Thousand and a Thousand by your Deputy; and when I am beaten by my Master's Order, 'tis my Master himself I reckon, that Beats me.

In Benefits as well as Injuries, 'tis the Principal that we are to consider, not the Instrument. That which a man does by Another, is in Truth and Equity by his own Act.

A Peacock and a Crane.

As a Peacock and a Crane were in Company together, the Peacock spread his tail, and challenges the other, to shew him such a Fan of Feathers. The Crane upon this, springs up into the Air, and calls to the Peacock to follow him if he could. You brag of your Plumes, says he, that are fair indeed to the Eye, but no way useful or fit for any manner of Service.

Heaven has provided not only for our Necessities, but for our Delights and Pleasures too; but still the Blessings that are most useful to us, must be preferr'd before the Ornaments of Beauty.

illustration by Barlow

The Birds and Beetles.

The Birds were in a terrible Fright once, for fear of Gun-shot from the Beetles. And what was the Bus'ness, but the little Balls of Ordure, that the Beetles had rak'd together, the Birds took for Bullets: But a Sparrow in the Company, that had more Wit than his Fellows, bad them have a good Heart yet, for how shall they reach us in the Air, says he, with those Pellets that they can hardly roll upon the Ground?

Many People apprehend Danger where there's None, and reckon themselves sure where there is, for want of taking the true Measure of Things, and laying Matters rightly together.

Roger L'Estrange (40)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Son Singing at his Mother's Funeral.

There was a good Man that follow'd his Wife's Body to the Grave, weeping, and wailing all the Way he went, while his Son follow'd the Corps singing. Why Sirrah, says the Father, You should howl, and wring your Hands, and do as I do, ye Rogue you; and not go Sol-Fa-ing it about like a Mad-man. Why Father, says he, You give the Priests Money to sing, and will you be angry with me for giving ye a Song Gratis? Well, says the Father, but that which may become the Priests, will not always become you. 'Tis their Office to sing, but it is your Part to cry.

Funeral Tears are as arrantly hir'd out as Mourning Cloaks: and so are the very Offices: And whether we go to our Graves snivelling or singing, 'tis all but according to the Fashion of the Country, and meer Form.

An Ass puts in for an Office.

There was a bantering Droll got himself into a very good Equipage and Employment, by an admirable Faculty he had in Farting. The Success of this Buffoon encourag'd an Ass to put in for a Place too; for, says he, I'll fart with that Puppy for his Commission, and leave it to the Judgment of those that preferr'd him, which has the Clearer, and better scented Pipe of the Two.

Where Publick Ministers encourage Buffoonery, 'tis no wonder if Buffoons set up for Publick Ministers.

A River-Fish and a Sea-Fish.

There was a large over-grown Pike that had the Fortune to be carry'd out to Sea by a strong Curent, and had there the Vanity to value himself above all the Fish in the Ocean. We'll refer that (says a Sturgeon) to the Judgment of the Market, and see which of the Two yields the better Price.

Every Man has his Province assign'd him, and none but a Mad-Man will pretend to impose; and to give Laws where he has nothing to do.

illustration from Croxall's Aesop

A Man that would not take a Clyster.

When the Patient is Rich, there's no Fear of Physicians about him, as thick as Wasps to a Honey-Pot; and there was a whole College of them call'd to a Consultation upon a Purse-Proud Dutch Man, that was troubled with a Megrim. The Doctors prescrib'd him a Clyster; the Patient fell into a Rage upon't. Why, Certainly these People are all mad, says he, to talk of Curing a Man's Head at his Tail.

He that consults his Physician, and will not follow his Advice, must be his own Doctor: But let him take the old Adage along with him; He that teaches himself, has a Fool for his Master.

A Husband and Wife Twice Married.

There happen'd a Match betwixt a Widower and a Widow. The Woman would be perpetually twitting of her second Husband what a Man her First was, and her Husband did not forget the ringing of it in her Ears as often, what an admirable Woman he had to his First Wife. As the Woman was one Day upon the peevish Pin, a poor Body comes to the Door, while the froward Fit was upon her, to beg a Charity. Come in, poor Man (says the Woman) here's e'en the Leg of a Capon for thee, to pray for the Soul of my First Husband. Nay, Faith, says the Husband, and when they hand is in, e'ev take the Body and the rest on't, to pray for the Soul of my First Wife. This was their way of Teizing one another, and of Starving the Living to Honour the Dead: For they had but that One Capon betwixt them to Supper.

Sauce for a Goose is Sauce for a Gander. There's no contending with the Laws of God and Man, especially against those that have Power and Right on their Side.

Roger L'Estrange (39)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Country-man and a River.

A Country-man that was to pass a River, founded it up and down to try where it was most fordable: and upon Trial he made this Observation on't: Where the Water ran Smooth, he found it Deepest; and on the contrary, Shallowest where it made most Noise.

There's More Danger in a Reserv'd and Silent, than in a Noisy, Babbling Enemy.

A Fir and a Bramble.

There goes a Story of a Fir-Tree, that in a vain spiteful Humour, was mightily upon the Pin of commending itself, and despising the Bramble. My Head (says the Fir) is advanc'd among the Stars. I furnish Beams for Palaces, Masts for Shipping: The very Sweat of my Body is a Sovereign Remedy for the Sick and Wounded. Whereas the Rascally Bramble runs creeping in the Dirt, and serves for nothing in the World but Mischief. Well, says the Bramble, (that over-heard all this) you might have said somewhat of your own Misfortune, and to my Advantage too, if your Pride and Envy would have suffer'd you to do it. But pray will you tell me however, when the Carpenter comes next with the Axe into the Wood, to fell Timber, whether you had not rather be a Bramble than a Fir-Tree.

Poverty secures a Man from Thieves, great and small: Whereas the Rich and the Mighty, are the Mark of Malice, and Cross Fortune; and still the Higher they are, the Nearer the Thunder.

illustration by Rackham

A Pigeon and a Pye.

A Pye was Wond'ring once to a Pigeon, why she would Breed still in the same Hole, when her Young Ones were constantly taken away from her before they were able to fly. Why That's my Simplicity, says the Pigeon. I mean no Harm, and I suspect none.

Do as you would be done by, it is a Better Rule in the Doctrine than in the Practice: For Trust as you would be Trusted, will not hold betwixt a Knave and an Honest Man. There's no Dealing with a Sharper but at his Own Play.

Oxen and a Piece of Timber.

The Timber was complaining of the Ingratitude of the Oxen. How often, says the Timber, have I fed ye with my Leaves, and reliev'd ye under my Shadow? and for you to drag me now at this Rate, over Dirt and Stones! Alas! cry'd the Oxen: Do not you see how we pant and groan, and how we are goaded on, to do what we do? The Timber consider'd how unwillingly they did it, and so forgave them.

What we are forc'd to do by an Over-ruling Power and Necessity is not properly our own Act.

illustration by Detmold

Capons Fat and Lean.

There were a great many Cramm'd Capons together in a Coop, some of 'em very Fair and Fat, and Others again did not thrive upon Feeding. The Fat Ones would be ever and anon making sport with the Lean, and calling them Starvelings; 'till in the End, the Cook was order'd to dress so many Capons for Supper, and to be sure to take the best in the Pen: When it came to that once, they that had most Flesh upon their Backs, wish'd they had had less, and 'twould have been better for 'em.

Prosperity makes People Proud, Fat, and Wanton; but when a Day of Reckoning comes, They are the First still that go to Pot.

Roger L'Estrange (38)

Here are some more fables from Roger L'Estrange's Fables of Aesop and Other Eminent Mythologists, and you can click here for all the L'Estrange fables at this blog.

A Creaking Wheel.

A Waggoner took notice upon the Creaking of a Wheel, that it was the worst Wheel of the Four that made most Noise, and was wondring at the Reason of it. Oh, says the Waggon, they that are Sickly are ever the most Piping and Troublesome.

'Tis with Creaking Wheels as 'tis with Courtiers, Physicians, Lawyers, (and with whom not?), They want Greazing.

Wolfe in a Sheeps-Skin.

There goes a Story of a Wolfe, that Wrapt himself up in a Sheeps-skin, and Worry'd Lambs for a Good while under That Disguise; but the Shepherd Met with him at last, and Truss'd him up, Sheeps-skin and all, upon an Eminent Gibbet, for a Spectacle, and an Example. The Neighbours made a Wonderment at it, and Ask'd him what he meant to Hang up his Sheep? Oh, says he, That's only the Skin of a Sheep, that was made use of to Cover the Heart, Malice, and Body of a Wolfe that Shrouded himself under it.

Hypocrisie is only the Devil's Stalking Horse, under an Affectation of Simplicity and Religion. People are not to be Judg'd by their Looks, Habits, and Appearances; but by the Character of their Lives and Conversations, and by their Works.

A Country-man and an Oxe.

A Countryman had got a stubborn Oxe, that would still be Pushing and Flinging, whenever they went to Yoak, or to Tye him up. The Man cuts off his Horns, and puts him to the Plough, and by that means secures himself, both against his Head and his Heels, and in the mean time, he himself Guides the Plough: But though the Oxe, when he was thus Shackled and Disarmed, could not either Strike or Gore him, he made a shift yet to throw Dust enough into his Eyes, and his Mouth, almost to Blind, and to Choak him.

A Malicious Man may be bound Hand and Foot, and put out of Condition of doing Mischief, but a Malicious Will is never to be master'd.

illustration from Steinhowel's Aesop

An Incorrigible Son.

It was the Hard Lot of a very Good Man to have a Vicious Young Fellow to his Son; and he did what he could to Reclaim him: But Sir (says he) for Brevity's sake, 'tis only so much Time and Councel thrown away; for all the Parsons about the Town have been Baiting me I know not how long now, upon the same Subject, and I'm not One Jot the Better for't.

Some Men Live as if they had made a Covenant with hell; Let Divines, Fathers, Friends say what they will, they Stop their Ears against them: And Good Councel is wholly Cast away upon them.

An Old Man resolv'd to give over Whoring.

There was an Old Tost, that in the very State of Impotence, had still a Whore in the Head of him. His Ghostly Father took Notice of it, and Ply'd him Hard with Wholesome Advice, upon the Subject of the Lusts of the Flesh. This Reverend Fornicator thank'd him most Heartily for his Kind and Christian Councel, and the Grace of Heaven, says he, I'll Follow it; For to tell ye the Plain Truth on't, I am told that 'tis Naught for me; and really, my Body is quite out of Tune for Those Gambols.

When Things are at the Worst they'd Mend.